Mom Stuff Is the Most Important Stuff I Will Ever Write About

On deciding not to prune my Substack garden and the importance of writing about mom stuff.

I’m approaching my first anniversary on Substack in February and after re-reading my first post, I’m in awe about how you, the readers, have helped Mother Love Letters transform — and in turn, have helped open a new portal in my mind to my writing dreams.

When I re-read my first post a few months ago, my initial instinct was to edit it. Erase! Reframe! Delete! “Wow, my pregnancy brain was truly unhinged and unfocused,” I thought to myself. Prune that Substack garden!

And then I remembered that I started Mother Love Letters to write about matrescence and identity — about the transformation of self against the backdrop of new motherhood, and what a disservice I would be doing to last year’s pregnant me if I went back and edited all of my old posts with the upgraded postpartum me.

My original intention for this newsletter was to bridge connection through words. I thought I might do so by offering services to my readers (i.e. providing journaling prompts) in addition to my personal essays, but that idea quickly fell by the wayside as I failed to continue journaling in my own life.

I didn’t know if sharing my own experiences would be enough. I was wrong, and as so many of you have flooded my comments and Notes and inbox with sweet and insightful messages about your own shared experiences over the last year, I have come to realize that the power of writing truly lies in the art of sharing it.

I also thought that I might need to appeal to a broader audience, that no one would want to read about all this mom stuff all the time, and so I drafted a few pieces about other aspects of my identity that weren’t at all tied to motherhood and that I planned to publish in the coming months.

I deleted them all today.

Over the last 11 months, I’ve written my way through pregnancy and postpartum and have now come out on the other side of it all writing with a refreshed sense of purpose as a new mom with a clearer voice as a writer and an understanding that you, the readers, have your own needs. This newsletter will not be for all of you, and that’s okay! But for those of you who continue to follow along — you’ve made Mother Love Letters a tangible part of me, allowing me to pursue my writing dreams, and for that I will always be grateful.

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Mom Stuff Is My Favorite Stuff

I’m writing for readers who want to read about mom stuff. It transcends and confronts every other identity I’ve ever had and ever will have. I welcome all readers, no matter what identity is taking hold of you right now, because I’ve learned that you don’t have to be a mom, or even mom-adjacent, to read about mom stuff. So I’ve stopped planning my writing around who may or may not be interested in the substance of this newsletter.

Mom stuff is as serious as politics, history, current events, and all other sub-categories on this platform and beyond, and deserves to be taken as such.

I’ve never been a faerie (sigh), but I love faerie fantasy novels. I sometimes read heartbreaking books even though I’m madly in love. I sometimes read stories of overcoming even though I feel (relatively) self-assured in my current state of being.

I don’t have to relate to everything I read and I don’t have to read what doesn’t serve me — I can simply scroll on by until I inevitably find something that speaks to me in some way. I don’t have to form an opinion, or comment, on everything I disagree with. These seemingly obvious realizations have transformed my mindset and confidence about what I’m writing about and who I’m writing for in my own newsletter.

I crave to hear stories from other moms. We all have these wildly different experiences despite undergoing the same type of categorical transformation. We need each other so we can witness all of the possibilities this mom stuff has to offer. So when something weird and frightening happens to our bodies or our minds, we can maybe find someone else who already experienced those things to find necessary solidarity.

Moms don’t need to exist in darkness. Moms deserve to have their infinite stories told and for those stories to be taken as seriously as any other subject-matter that commands respect without having to ask for it because it is impliedly important.

What’s Next from Mother Love Letters

I want this newsletter to remain a place to connect through words. There are incredible publications on Substack and beyond dissecting the cultural impacts of motherhood, analyzing pregnancy and postpartum healthcare successes and failings, providing invaluable insight on the why behind so many of our collective frustrations. I love reading works from those why writers, but Mother Love Letters is not for why writing.

I’m simply writing to entertain as I introduce all of my other identities to Me the Mother, sometimes gracefully and other times in weeks’ old pajamas covered in baby drool and tripping over crinkle books.

I’m a mom. A writer. An attorney. A bookworm. And a thousand other selves, just like you, writing and reading my way through the world, trying to make sense of it all.

In my future posts, you’ll continue to find personal essays, photoessays, and poems. Some upcoming personal essays in queue:

• Breastfeeding is a Full-time Job (Part 2)

• The Village That Built Me

• Narrating the Day as My Baby

• The Power of Maternity Leave

• What It Means To Be Motherly

I will also be sharing book recommendations (Mom’s Shelf) to highlight my recent favorite reads. I love books and there’s simply not enough space to dramatize my enthusiasm fully on Instagram.

Lastly, I’ll be sharing collective discussion pieces (Mothers Assemble) that incorporate personal anecdotes from readers to highlight the messy and magical shared experiences of pregnancy and motherhood that bring us all together. I’m currently calling on stories about breastfeeding if you’d like to contribute to my first Mothers Assemble piece (details below).

In 2025, I hope you don’t feel ashamed to celebrate the things that you love. I hope you tip-toe into this New Year, and if you’re sticking around here, I hope you love mom stuff as much as me — because I have a lot to say.

A New Year's poem I wrote on January 1, 2024 and updated for 2025

💌

Xo,

Violet Carol

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Thank You for Reading 🩵

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On Call for “Mothers Assemble” — Breastfeeding 🗯️

Mothers Assemble is a series of personal essays incorporating stories from readers to highlight the messy and magical shared experiences of pregnancy and motherhood that bring us all together.

Currently, I’m calling on stories about breastfeeding. If you’d like to share your experience to be included in a future Mothers Assemble post, please fill out the Google Form below.

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More from Mother Love Letters 💌

Poems for newborn nights: “Midnight Feedings” & “Blink”

Personal essay on my new identity as a mother: Motherhood Has Revoked My Cool Girl Card and Now I Am Boring

Personal essay on my positive c-section experience: No Revision for My Incision Decision

Personal essay on the challenges of breastfeeding: Breastfeeding is a Full-time Job (Part 1)